Hey guys! Welcome back. I hope you are all doing well. I am going to be completely honest, this post is going to be very deep and very serious. I am going to be a little more personal than I usually am. So grab a drink, grab a snack, and cozy on up because we are here for a while.
It took me a really long time to figure out who God wanted me to be. I was always uncertain about what he wanted of me and what I was meant to do. I never knew what I wanted and to be quite honest never gave it much thought because I always wanted to do what He expected of me. I knew He had a greater plan for my life and I was just waiting until all the pieces fell into place.
It wasn’t until very recently that all of the pieces started coming together. I was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen. But I was patient and in the end God answered my prayers and led me to where I am now. It wasn’t always easy waiting and changing my major and my classes all the time, but it got me here and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
College is stressful and not always fun, but it doesn’t compare to the childhood I had or the home I grew up in. I grew up really fast. I don’t have any fun childhood memories. I wasn’t allowed to talk to people or go anywhere. I wasn’t even allowed to feel. I couldn’t have my own opinions. I had to be strong. I had to have it together because my parents didn’t. It was scary.
My childhood was full of abuse and struggle. My parents were very rarely both around. It was usually one or the other and when they were both around it wasn’t pleasant. I don’t have an explanation for how I got through it all other than God was always there. I always felt His presence even when I was completely alone. I always knew He was there and willing to listen.
Because He was there and always helped me through I never had a doubt in my mind that I couldn’t get through anything life put in front of me. I always knew and understood that God is bigger than life. God controls everything. Sometimes I wish I could control the things that happen, but I would never learn or grow if that was the case. I am stronger for what I have been through and I thank God for that. Literally.
Trusting God hasn’t always been easy. There were times when I questioned why He put me through things. I didn’t always know if it would work out because I didn’t know if I was strong enough. But because He was there I got through it. Together we made the impossible possible and the journey was well worth it. my life wouldn’t be the same and I wouldn’t be the same if I hadn’t endured what I did and kept pushing.
I think a big part of my problem (and some people will be able to agree with me on this) is that it’s not that God never answers us. It’s not that God never talks to us. It’s simply that we don’t listen. We expect God to tell us everything on demand because that is how we live our lives now. Everything is fast-paced and in demand. We get whatever we want as quickly as we can. If it takes too long we pass it up.
So I have learned to stop and listen. I talk to God and I allow Him to talk back. Maybe it takes a few days, maybe it only takes minutes. God is always trying to communicate with us, it’s just that sometimes we miss the signs. I know I have missed a lot of signs along the way. It’s confusing sometimes, but it’s always there. We just have to be patient.
It’s not easy to be a Christian in today’s world. Too much has happened and some people believe that it is easier to not follow a religion at all. That may seem like the best choice now, but I don’t believe it is in the long run. I know I would be lost and broken without God with me today. I might not even be here right now if it weren’t for God. He has led me down this path and I am more grateful than ever. God has blessed me with an amazing life, an amazing opportunity, and some even more amazing friends. I always know I can depend on Him to keep me safe and keep me on the right path.
There is a difference between not knowing what God’s plan is and not listening to what God’s plan is. I may not know what the future holds for me, but I do know who God wants me to be. He expects me to be His humble follower. He expects me to be loyal and honest. He expects me to live this life as He says I should. He expects me to listen to His guidance even when it differs from what I want to do.
God has always protected me. He has always kept me safe. He led me out of an environment that was not safe for anyone. He led me here. He gave me this wonderful opportunity and is allowing me to build a life I always dreamed of having. For that I am forever thankful. I am grateful for all God has given me, even the hard times.
If I have learned one thing in my life it is that God does not exist to please us, we exist to please Him. I haven’t always lived a life pleasing to God. I haven’t always made the best of decisions when it comes to certain things. But I have vowed my life to God and I will hold to that in the best way I can. I am not perfect, but He is in every way. His way is much better than mine, even if I can’t see it right now.
God is calling me to follow Him. My life is meant to please Him. he has always provided for me even when I didn’t necessarily deserve it. I owe my life to Him and that He shall have. He gives me strength and comfort. I may not know what I am supposed to be doing, but I do know who I am supposed to be.
Thank you so much for reading! I thoroughly hope you enjoyed this. Please like it if you did. Don’t forget to like it before you leave if you have not already and I hope to see you next time!