Hey guys! Welcome back. I hope you had an excellent weekend. Mine was very productive. I feel like I got quite a few things done and I am honestly super proud of myself. But that’s not what we are here for. As you can probably tell by the title, today we are talking about your happiness and you might be sabotaging it. Most of the time our goals are leading us to some kind of happiness. Whether it is a new job, a new partner, or some of kind of better way of life, our goals are usually pointed in a positive direction. But we also tend to get in our own way of getting things done and reaching our goals. And that is what I want to talk about today.
It is super easy to fall back and give up on our goals when we don’t get the results we want, when we want. Trust me. I’ve been there. But I learned that in order to really get things done and make our dreams come true, as cliche as it sounds, we can’t give up. So today I wanted to give you a few ways that you might be sabotaging your happiness and how not to do that in the future. So if you are interested in how to stop self sabotaging your happiness, just keep reading.
1. You listen to your inner critic. Now don’t get me wrong, your inner critic is important. And you should listen. But you shouldn’t give up every time it tells you to give up. Our inner critic is our own worst enemy. Sure, it may be trying to protect you and keep you from getting hurt or disappointed, but it will also hold you back. It may be trying to keep you safe, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.
So what is the solution? It’s really actually quite simple. The solution is to allow yourself to listen to your inner critic. If you try to ignore it, it only gets worse. If you have experienced this, you know what I’m talking about. It comes back and rears it’s ugly head at some point. But you have to learn how to control it. You have to be able to decide what is true and what is just plain fear. It’s best to write down everything you are feeling and decide based on what is in front of you.
2. You procrastinate. Trust me, I am super guilty of this. I procrastinate more than I should. Although, it has gotten better this year. But still, it happens. We procrastinate because something is difficult, we are afraid, or simply because we have something we would rather be doing. That procrastination is holding you back from reaching your goals, and therefore keeping you from your happiness.
The solution to this is a little more complicated. You have to find your own way to stop procrastinating. Whether it’s a reward, a more disciplined calendar, or an approach you find all on your own, it is up to you. Procrastination is a difficult thing to overcome, but it is possible. And it is necessary if you want to reach your goals. For me, I turn to Google Calendar. I plan out my days and put in the times I will be working on things. This allows me to plan for breaks and times to get things done.
3. You’re afraid of failure. Sometimes, the thing that holds us back from our happiness the most is the fear of failure. It’s something we all deal with. But failure is something we all go through. I have had my fair share of failures. But there is something to be said about the person who is afraid, but does it anyway.
The solution to overcoming a fear of failure is to take a look at all you have learned from failure. Every time we fail and get back up, there is a lesson to take away. Maybe it’s better planning, or maybe it’s asking for help. Regardless, there are plenty of things to take away from failure. So you shouldn’t be afraid. If you fail, there is something to be learned and that is good.
4. You try to control everything. We sometimes sabotage our happiness by trying to have complete control. It helps us feel safe and secure. But the truth is, that will only make you miserable. You have to relinquish control and allow for life to happen. You have to step back and let others help you. You don’t have complete control and the sooner you realize that, the happier you will be.
Don’t try to control everything. Delegate when you can. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Know what you limitations are. Understand that timing is everything and you are only one person. Not everything is going to work out exactly the way you want it to and that’s okay.
5. You are exhausted from doing things you don’t want to do. You spend all day at a job you hate, come home to a relationship you don’t want to be in, and then try to get everything else you need to get done finished, you won’t spend the right time or energy on your goals. It’s true, you have to have a job and sometimes you may not like it. But there are ways to make sure you have time and energy to pursue the things you want.
My solution is to cut out as much negativity as you can. It might be a person, things in your life, or it might be your job. Cut out as much as you can. If your job is making you that unhappy, try to find a new one. If you are in a relationship that is making you miserable, get out of it as soon as you can. Work towards the things that make you happy by spending less time with the things that make you unhappy.
6. You compare yourself to others. Comparison is something we all unfortunately struggle with. I know I sometimes compare myself to people I have no business comparing myself to. The truth is, we are all at different points in our journey. We have a hard time understanding our failures when everyone around us is succeeding. Comparison is one of the biggest things that causes us to give up.
My solution is to keep a bullet journal. Start tracking everything. This way, all you can do is compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Instead of looking at everyone else and how well they are doing, look inward. Analyze how well you are doing. This will inspire you to keep going strong.
7. You worry too much about what other people think. I am extremely guilty of this. In fact, I often don’t even try to do something because I am afraid of what people are going to think. Worrying about what other people think holds us back from happiness so much it’s insane. I can’t even count the number of things that worrying about other people has cost me.
My solution to this is to focus on yourself. Only you know what is best for you. Everyone else’s opinion is just that: an opinion. It doesn’t matter who they are or what they have done. You have to do what is best for you. Your happiness is at stake and it’s up to you to take control and do the things that bring you the most happiness. Don’t waste your life living someone else’s.
Well, I feel like I have talked long enough here today. Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope you enjoyed this. Let me know in the comments if you relate to any of this and how you work to solve it. Don’t forget to follow before you leave if you have not already and I hope to see you next time!
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