10 Signs He’s The Right Guy For You
You are still excited when he comes home from work. You still feel a rush when you kiss him and the excitement when he calls or messages you still feels like it did early in the relationship. Maybe you’re going on a year, maybe longer, maybe just six months- you may be wondering if he’s the right match for you.
- You’re genuinely excited when he comes home- If you get home from work before he does, or if you have different days off and you find that you perk up when you hear him pulling into the driveway, there is a good chance you’re with the right man. You should still feel some manner of excitement when you haven’t seen him for a while.
- You miss him while he’s out, working or away from you. During the beginning of a new relationship, its typical to feel excited when his number comes up on your caller ID or when you’re going to be seeing him and those feelings end up fading as the relationship goes on. If you find, years later, that you’re still excited to see him when you or he gets off work or when you are going home from work you’re excited to see him that’s a good sign that you’re still in love.
- You actually want to try to keep things alive and keep pleasing him. If you feel that you truly want to keep him and you put his needs before your own that’s a huge sign. I’m not saying to put his wants over your needs, but when you love someone you put them first. He should do the same for you. His comfort should come first but yours should come first for him as well.
- You’re comfortable being your true self around him. This is a big one. You will never truly be in a healthy relationship if you’re not comfortable with him seeing every aspect of yourself and he should be comfortable so you should also accept every aspect of him. If either of you don’t accept even the darkest parts, it’s a red flag.
- When you are together, even after over a year, it feels exciting and new- this doesn’t mean that you relive the exact same excitement during later stages as you did during the honeymoon stage, but you should be able to feel how he made you feel when you first started going out, first had sex, first became serious- that same excitment 10 years down the line should still come back on occasion.
- You have the same vision for your future. If you are well matched with your partner, you both will have similar desires. You’ll want to live in the same type of area, have the same number of kids and you both will support each others’ career aspirations. If you rent an apartment in the city and he wants to buy in the country, it could work if you are both willing to compromise but if housing is a deal breaker, it is best to rethink. Kids are normally a dealbreaker, and should be. Having or not having kids is one of the biggest decisions you will make as a couple.
- You can’t see a future with anyone else but him. This is a given, if you cannot see yourself at peace without him and can’t imagine being with anyone else, you likely met your match. If the very thought of him being happy with another woman gives you the sick feeling inside and makes you feel like you have been punched, you want to be with him.
- You both have similar beliefs- this is deeper than just spirituality, if both of you have the same types of beliefs about life itself and agree on all the major dealbreakers (similar religious and political leanings, similar views on all other causes that you both are passionate about and neither of you is having to fake interest to please the other partner, that’s usually a good sign you’re on the right track.
- You “don’t go to bed angry.” You’re able to work any argument or conflict out without letting it eat away at you. If you do get angry, you’re able to work things out fully in a healthy manner. If you never learn how to properly communicate your feelings to him, you will never be able to have a truly healthy relationship. You do something that bothers him, he does something that bothers you, you talk it out. If you hold things in for too long, it can lead to feelings of resentment and if you feel the need to walk on eggshells to avoid conflict, it’s a huge red flag.
- You just feel it in your gut. I had a large list of rules I had set for myself and found myself willingly breaking them all with my husband. The rules were set to protect me after a highly toxic relationship. Our 10th anniversary is this year, so my feelings were correct. MOst of the rules could have backfired bad but it felt right and did nothing to harm. They say that when you know, you just know and you should trust your intuition. If it’s sending out red flags, there is a good chance it’s the wrong relationship for you but if things feel right, they are likely right. Don’t confuse intuition with the “honeymoon” stage- the first few months where you see the good, ignore the bad and feel like there is nothing they do wrong.
This is by no means a full list, everyone has their own signs that will let them know that the person they’re with is the one they’re meant to be with. Trusting your own intuition is important, your intuition can pick up on red flags that you’re missing but trusting your heart can also lead you to opening yourself to a good relationship when you have been hurt. It can lead you past fear (as mine did for me) and lead you to a nontoxic relationship.