Hey guys! Welcome back. For those who have been around for a while you know that I have struggled for a really long time with people pleasing and not making decisions just for myself. This has caused quite a few issues in my life and has led me down some paths that were not ideal. And over time I learned that trying to please other people and make everyone else happy just isn’t possible because everyone has a different idea about what I should be doing. So I decided it was time to make a change and over time, I learned how to set boundaries in my life and make decisions for myself. So here are the ways that I manage to do this.
Get clear on my priorities.
When it comes to living my life to the absolute fullest and living the way I want to, it was really important for me to take some time to get clear on what my priorities in life are. If you want me to share those in a future post let me know in the comments. But I knew it was really important for me to take the time to really figure out what a happy and successful life would look like. After doing this, I was able to understand what I needed from other people and what I was willing to accept and not accept. It helps me better understand what I am willing to spend my time and energy on. It also helps me see clearly that my priorities should be at the top of what I am doing.
Listen to my gut.
This is a really big one. It took me a very long time to start listening to my gut and realizing that it always told me exactly what I needed to do. I can say from personal experience that your gut instinct is usually right. Your gut will tell you about things that you are excited about and the things that you are dreading. Listen to those feelings and stay true to them. Use your gut instincts to help you make decisions. Don’t worry so much about making everyone else unhappy because nothing you do really matters if you are not happy.
Think about the consequences of my actions.
With every action there is a reaction. Sometimes that reaction is good, and sometimes it is bad. But overall, it is important when making a decision about something that we are thinking about the consequences and the lasting effects of what we are doing. And I have learned that if I am always living for someone else and basing my decisions off of what other people want, then I will be living a second life for them. I won’t ever really experience life on my own terms. So even if life isn’t always perfect, I want to do my best to do what makes me the most happy and fulfilled.
Do things because I want to.
When it comes to setting boundaries and living life on your own terms, it’s really important that you make decisions based on things you want to do. By doing this you are inviting joy and excitement into your life. But if you only do things because someone else says it’s a good idea you are setting yourself up for a life filled with dread and unhappiness. And the truth is, we both know you deserve more than that. So it’s important to make sure you are doing things that you want to do.
One of the worst things you can do if you are trying to set clear boundaries with people in your life is to be indecisive. If you are clear, firm, and direct about your boundaries and the things you want to do, you are letting people know that you can be swayed and your mind can be changed. So when you say you want to do something, make it clear. Don’t say it in a way that makes it seem like you are questioning it because that invites outside opinions and criticisms into the mix.
Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope you enjoyed this. Please like it if you did. Let us know in the comments what you do to set boundaries in your life. I’m sure we could all use some tips. Be sure that you go listen to the podcast as well. We have new episodes every Monday and Thursday and I would love to have you over there as a part of the community. Also, go follow us on Instagram! Don’t forget to follow before you leave if you have not already and I hope to see you next time!
Podcast: This Blessed Mess
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