Hey guys! Welcome back. I am back today to share with you my thoughts and my journey with seeking approval from others. One of the biggest lessons I have learned in life is that seeking approval from others really does take away our freedom. I know this because I have spent so much time worrying so much about what other people thought that I wasn’t really making my own decisions. I was basing everything I did on what I thought everyone else would like and approve of. I spent my entire life seeking approval from other people until one day I realized what a waste of time that is. I spent so much time trying to get other people to like me that I stopped liking myself. The desire for other people to like me motivated the majority of the decisions I made.
I mastered the art of telling people what they wanted to hear. I became clay that people could mold into whatever they wanted me to be. I let myself get pulled in a variety of different directions. And one day I realized how exhausted and unhappy I was. I realized that trying to make other people happy all the time had caused me to neglect myself. I have always had a huge fear of criticism because of that need to have approval from other people.. I have always had an issue with anyone telling me I am doing something wrong and that has caused me to hold myself back and not take on opportunities if I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be and if it would be in my favor.
When I first started blogging, and even now to an extent, there are many opportunities that I don’t take because I fear criticism. I fear not being approved and everything not being liked by everyone. And I know it’s unrealistic to think I can make everyone happy, but the reason I hold myself back is because I know I can’t make everyone happy. I often find myself in the mindset of if I can’t use it to make everyone happy, I shouldn’t even try. I have gotten better though. I am started to overcome those fears and the need to always have the approval of everyone else. It’s just not an easy thing to overcome. My anxiety about the doubts and fears I have within myself is often something that causes me to underestimate myself and not believe in the value that I am offering to other people.
I began to realize that my need for approval was negatively impacting my performance. I wasn’t giving my best all the time because I wasn’t sure if my best was good enough. I also began to realize that it was nearly impossible for anything I did to be approved by anyone if I wasn’t doing anything. And then I realized that I didn’t need to be approved by everyone; I just needed to be approved by the people whose opinions I actually value and trust in my life. It’s impossible for everyone to always be happy with everything I do, but that doesn’t mean I’m not doing the right thing or I need to do something different.
Now I try my hardest to find my approval from my self and the endless conversations I have with God. I seek answers and understanding from God because He has already been where I am and He knows what will happen better than anyone else. The answers I get and the path I go down is not something that everyone is going to understand, but it’s not their journey and it’s not their life. It’s mine and it’s up to me to do the things that God has laid out for me to do. I have learned not to question the answers that God gives me because I know that He knows better than me and that He always has my best interests at heart. I know that He is not leaving my side and that no matter where I go in life He will be there with me every step of the way.
Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope you enjoyed this. Please like it if you did. Let us know in the comments what your thoughts on this topic are. Do you struggle with this as well? Don’t forget to follow before you leave if you have not already and I hope to see you next time!
Podcast: This Blessed Mess
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