Hey guys! Welcome back. This past week has definitely been one for the books and while I am usually excited to share my life with you, this is one that a big part of me wants to not share. And in full disclosure, I would like to warn you that there will be some heavy topics talked about in this post. So if you aren’t comfortable or aren’t sure it’s something you can handle right now, it’s understandable if you pass on this one. I share these things so you guys can know what’s going on in my life and hopefully it will help you feel less alone if you are also struggling. But this has been a pretty difficult week and I want to be open about it with you.
Something that I have not talked about or mentioned to anyone really is that a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with PTSD. Based on past traumas and the things I went through I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. It hasn’t been easy because I know that this particular disorder is really hard for some people to cope with and I have definitely had a lot of trouble coping with it and learning to live with it. There are a ton of physical and mental battles that come with living with PTSD and it’s been really difficult. This past week there have been a lot of tears and a lot of struggles as I try to figure out how to keep going.
I wake up feeling really sad and I go through periods throughout the day where I just want to cry. And it’s not because there is something wrong, but because my mind and my body are so used to being in survival mode that now that I have nothing to survive it hasn’t been easy. I don’t know what to do with myself or how I should be feeling. I want to be happy but for some reason it’s really hard for me. These past couple of days have been especially difficult and I know it will only get worse before it gets better. But hopefully over time it will get easier and I will be able to get through this mountain as well.
On a lighter note, I did start the workout challenge this week. It’s been really good for me and has helped my mental health a great deal. It hasn’t been easy everyday just because of how I have been feeling and the struggles I have been going through, but I push myself to get through it because I know it can only help. I am also really looking forward to seeing how I feel at the end of the month when it is over. So that gives me something to not only work toward, but also to look forward to. Hopefully I continue to grow stronger and keep going at such a consistent level even after this month is over.
The amount of anxiety attacks I have had over the past few weeks have not been fun, but the workouts have helped. Anxiety attacks are never fun or easy to go through and I try not to talk about them for that reason. But I also know that so many people struggle with them and it helps me to know that I am not alone. So even though I try to hide most of my struggles and shield myself as much as possible, I want to open up more and share more of my story and my journey with you guys especially when it comes to mental health and personal growth in general. Hopefully I can help at least one person.
Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope you enjoyed this. Please like it if you did. Let us know in the comments how your week went. Don’t forget to follow before you leave if you have not already and I hope to see you next time!
Podcast: This Blessed Mess
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