Hey guys! Welcome back. I am finally getting around to writing this blog post. It has been a long time coming, but I have put it off because I have mentioned some of it and I knew this post would take time to write. But I am finally ready to sit down and share with you exactly what I have gone through these past few months. There were so many changes that happened all at once and I never really had a chance to process it for myself. Now that I have settled down a bit I feel like I’m ready to share with you everything that has happened.
Back at the start of 2020 I moved and got a stable job. Everything was going fine for a few months, but then once April came around everything changed. I’m not going to disclose and specific details because I feel this is not the platform to share those details, but I will share them at another time. Towards the end of May everything really changed and I suddenly found my entire life turned upside down. Needless to say, while I should have seen it coming, I wasn’t prepared for it. Even though I knew it was a possibility I tried to be positive and hope for the best.
But the worst happened and I ended up having to quit my job and move very suddenly. It was not my choice, but I didn’t have any other options. I was truly alone and didn’t have any real kind of support. I felt like a burden in every aspect of my life and I was terrified. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I needed a plan. I needed to start looking at my options and figure out what my next move was. I was willing to do whatever it took for me to get where I needed to be.
So the beginning of June is when everything started coming together and making sense to me. It was not easy, but as time went on things started to add up for me. I found this apartment and got approved to move in within a week of my applying. The only problem was I couldn’t move in until mid-August. Towards the middle of July is when I found and applied for the job I have now. And even though I had to reapply when I got here I pretty much had the job.
Even though I had a plan and had a basic understanding of what was happening and I was really just waiting until the day I moved in, I still felt like a burden. I still felt like I didn’t belong anywhere and I wasn’t wanted by anyone. It was a tough chapter in my life and something I will look back on for years to come. But I struggled with not knowing my value and feeling like I was just taking up space which wasn’t a new feeling, but a feeling I didn’t want to feel nonetheless.
I think the biggest issue was the fact that I felt like I had lost everything. I felt like I didn’t really have a place where I truly felt like I belonged and people who were really there for me. I felt isolated and alone. But finally after what felt like an eternity August came around and my moving day finally rolled around. It was a hot and exhausting day, but I was extremely lucky to have a very good friend who was willing to help me move. And that day I moved into my apartment and my life changed forever.
At the beginning of June I really did lose everything. It was a really difficult thing to go through and it still hurts to think about. I went through something you just never want to go through. But that experience ended up giving me everything I always wanted. I now have a home that I am completely happy, safe, and comfortable in. I have wonderful friends who support me and never make me feel alone. They never ask me how I am going to do something, but instead ask what they can do to help.
I have a great job that even though I am exhausted all the time and it’s not the easiest job, it keeps me sustained and allows me to grow and learn. I live in a really nice city not too far from anyone I am really close to. There are so many opportunities for me. So even though all those months ago I did lose everything, it ended up being the best thing for me because it gave me everything. It gave a place to live, people who genuinely care about me, and a purpose in my life.
What happened back in June was heartbreaking and it’s going to take a long time for me to fully recover from it. But at the end of the day I am really thankful because if it hadn’t happened I wouldn’t be where I am. I know it may sound strange but I believe it was the best thing for me and I am glad I went through it. It made me stronger and I learned so much about what I am capable of through it. I also learned that to the right people I will never have to prove my worth.