Hey guys! Welcome back. Moving to a new city was difficult for me in many ways and one of the biggest was making new friends. I still don’t really have friends outside of the apartment, but I am working on it. But with the pandemic still being a thing it’s kind of hard to get out there. But I figured I would still share some tips that I have picked up and even some that helped me in college in case you are trying to find new friends as well. One of my biggest goals this year is to find new friends and grow my relationships, so I figured I would share what I am doing to make that happen with you.
Show up in new places.
When looking for friends sometimes we have to put ourselves out there. People don’t usually just appear in our lives. It takes effort. So I like to go places by myself that I am interested in. Whether it’s church, a coffee shop, or certain stores, I like to go places that I am comfortable and would want to spend time with someone else in. Now I don’t just go up and start talking to people, but I do try new places where I think I might eventually find at least one person I might like to meet. And trust me, I know this is all easier said than done. It’s intimidating when you are trying to meet new people, but it’s one of the best ways I know of. Most of us are scared when we are going out to make new friends because rejection is one of the scariest things. But if you show up you are way more likely to make friends than if you never show up at all. The odds are a hundred times better if you show up than if you don’t.
Show up consistently.
I know it can be hard. I know it can be awkward. Trust me. I am one of the most awkward and unsure people out there. But I know to get results at anything you have to be consistent. And that is why I can’t stress this enough. You have to be consistent and show up in those places no matter how awkward and uncomfortable you are the first couple of times. You have to push through that and remind yourself why you are there. I’m not saying if you find a place where you just don’t feel like you fit in that you have to say. But if it’s just you feeling awkward, keep going back. See if that feeling goes away. Start talking to people. Sometimes it’s even fun to ask people how they make friends in a new city. It’s a great icebreaker and they may even keep chatting with you until they become a friend.
If you are invited to something by a coworker, another friend, or someone you met (that you trust), go. If you have an opportunity to show up somewhere with new people that you can meet I really encourage you to go. Now don’t go to a raging party if that’s not your scene, but even if it’s a networking event try to show up. Sometimes people have gatherings, potlucks, or even classes that you can be a part of to meet new people and expand your options. Of course during the pandemic you have to be safe about these things, but hopefully this won’t last forever (hopefully).
Chances are, if you keep yourself closed off you probably aren’t going to make many new friends. So if you want to find new people to hang out with, talk to, and be friends with, you have to open up your world. Maybe find people with different interests than you, that come from different backgrounds, and even that have different jobs than you. It’s going to help you expand your horizons so much more and you are going to start to make a variety of different friends. Open up to new people and you will also start to learn new things and get to try new things. It’s all very rewarding.
It’s really hard to make authentic friendships if you aren’t staying true to yourself. You want friends that love you for everything that you are, especially as an adult. I know it can be difficult sometimes because we struggle with feeling like we want to fit in and we want everyone to like us. But you don’t know a lot of fake friendships. You need a few really good friends. Quality is always better than quantity, especially when it comes to relationships. So be yourself and stay true to the person you know you are and what you value. You will attract the right people to you that way. You will so much better off if you trust yourself and love yourself enough to be authentic with the people you meet.
Thank you so much for stopping by! I really hope you enjoyed this. Please like it if you did. I know that making friends as an adult, especially in a new city, can be tricky. Even without a pandemic happening. But hopefully as time goes on and you become more comfortable you will find your way and learn things that help you along the way. It’s scary sometimes when we have to put ourselves out there, but I truly believe it is worth it. So if you have any tips on how to make new friends as an adult, in a new city, or both please let us know in the comments. Don’t forget to follow before you leave if you have not already and I hope to see you next time!